Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Winkle Pickers

My mum had always referred to it as a 'winkle'. "Have you washed your winkle?", wee willy winkle, winkle pickers, you were just a winkle in your father's eye. Whay is that women so winkly? winkle from the seaside, sandy winkles. I hated geting a sandy winkle. Sometimes I'd have a bath, but mostly a wash with a flannel at the sink. My friend had a beeday, a B-day, a bidet, it was french. It would squirt water at your winkle and you could fill up the basin, and swish the water up and around like a paddling pool, splashing. My cousins washed their winkles whilst sitting on the toilet, with a jug of water, and a scratchy sponge or a colour-coded cloth, and lots of soap. then, they'd dry off using a colour-coded towel - don't use that one, it's not your colour! Tessa's towel was blue. I had my own colour towel and flannel, and I'd have to sit on the toilet to wash my winkle, then we would flush the water away. A way. A different way.

When I's stay at William and Jenny's I wouldn't wash at all. We'd get dirty in the garden, climbing trees, hiding in boxes, crunching snails. William. Willy. Willy bums. Wee willy winky. He had a willy, I had a winkle. He could stand up and wee-willy wee. No wiping or washcloths, just a wiggle and away. A way. A different way.

My mum weed like a woman. It made a loud sound, like a waterfall - shhhhhhewwwwwwh! Not a tinkle (winkle), but a great swooshing flow of womanly wee. I tried to make mine sound the same, but it was always a trickle. Tabitha's mum tried to make us wee, even when we didn't need it, before bedtime. She would make psss psss sounds and sit us on the toilet. She said that's what they did to make horses wee. Once I saw a horses willy, and it was so huge that I couldn't stop staring. What did a lady horses winkle look like? I never saw one.

Tabitha used to wipe from back to front - just a dab with a folded piece of tissue. My mum always did it from behind, front to back, like a lady. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to wee like a lady, standing up, swooshing into the middle of the water without having to touch the seat.

My Mum had a woman's winkle, a vagina. It was hairy, a bit fluffy, womanly. Ladylike. Like a lady. I saw it underwater once, in the bath, when I had my goggles on, and I realised that it was really just a winkle, only hairy. A vagina was a hairy winkle. A womanly winkle.

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